ugh sorry i haven't been updating much. i look on here almost everyday but today i actually decided to do something now. i'm really tired. i feel lonely too. being alone in this apartment is making me go crazy. i don't know why i get like this either, i just feel abandoned because i know that there should be someone here. apparently there's a rapist running around where i live. it's a good thing that nothing happened to me when i walked home from work tonight. i usually don't walk home from work but no one could take me home. i really wanted my last summer to be great, at least a happy one or even relaxing. all i do is work. jason comes to pick me up alot but most of the time we just play games, no real together time. maybe i'm wanting too much. i probably imagined him to be something amazing and i'm beginning to feel disappointment. he doesn't see how much he upsets me when he promises to do something and nothing happens. how can i ever believe that he'll ever do anything now?